When people check out my room for the first time, they always mention, "Hey, your calendar is a little off. It's not April 2008."
Well, I wish it was.
Two years ago, I was just a kid whose life plans had been shattered by a plethora of college rejection letters. Today, I am a 21 year old woman who now understands that plans change and your life is what you make of it, not what you hope for it.
In April 2008, I left for a little place called Florence, Italy.
Now as much as I absolutely loved Italy and its incredible food, art, and landscapes, the country itself isn't what changed me; it was the absolutely amazing, crazy, sometimes frustrating but always lovable group of alcoholics formally known as The Firenze Crew.
Now, I have to be honest. I was a little skeptical about them at first. I walked into our first information meeting in the KCI and, well, I judged. I vividly remember seeing Michelle, Nicole, Jamie. I remember HEARING Alisa :) I remember bits and pieces of the conversation:
Voltaire: (raises his hand) Um, is there a gym near our apartments where we can get a temporary membership?
Gilmar: (whispering to Steve) Uh, it's called push-ups, bro.
Oh, Gilmar. So kind. So understanding.
If you had told me that the people in that meeting were going to change my life, I wouldn't believe a word. But today, I call them some of my best friends. My brothers and sisters. My Firenze family.
I wrote something at the end of the trip because I wanted to remember who I was at that exact moment in time. I wanted to have something to read to my grandchild who may be considering studying abroad. I wanted to have something to remind me that I am blessed. Truly, truly blessed.
It was supposed to be a personal journal entry, but with some advice/peer pressure, I read it out loud. At a bar. Story of my life.
Well, here it is. After reading it again I noticed that I write weird. Not that well. I like commas.
I share this with the world to mark the 2nd anniversary of our trip. To my Firenze family--I love you guys and miss you everyday. Thank you for showing me how to love.
"I'm still awake from the night before and it's not the insomnia. We just concluded a night of beer pong, baseball, and of course, kebap. Just another day at the office. Steve just left in time to beat the sunrise. I'm wide awake and I have two things on my mind: how lucky I feel to be here in Florence and that I probably shouldn't have gotten doo doo butter on that kebap. So, as I popped a couple Immodium as to not anger the beast that is my digestive system, I reflected on the past six months and my remaining 5 days here in Florence. I could say that this has been the best trip of my life a million times and it would never match what I feel inside. But no words or explanations are necessary. I can simply look into each person's eyes and see every moment and every memory I have have with you. I see everything I want to be and everything I will take with me for the rest of my life. I'd look up at you guys now but I'd burst into tears not out of sadness or regret, but out of sheer happiness for how blessed I have been to have this opportunity. But I don't need to look up to feel you there, to know you're with me. I can close my eyes and visualize every single one of you. I see...
...a girl with a video camera capturing some awesome and, at the same time, not so flattering footage, all of which she will never show us (Chi)
...a girl of experience and pure emotion who may be afraid of pigeons, but not of anything else that life throws her way (Tina)
...a guy who has had MAYBE a pint of beer this entire trip but somehow has coined a term insinuating completely inappropriate, public drunkenness (Randall)
...a dancer in white pants and a nose ring whose booty shake could put Shakira to shame (Dennis)
...a chick with her hair in a poof, neck wrapped in a scarf, and 6 million Polish friends to party with (Vivian)
...a roommate who accepts me for my culinary retardation and makes me scrambled eggs each morning (Karla)
...a USC drama major who is visibly sweet and amazing when she gets a hold of that volume knob (Alisa)
...a history master who told me the origins of the middle finger--single handedly the most important piece of history I have ever learned...sorry Dolores (Christina)
...an incredible breakdancer who I love like a brother and who knows how to use his head in more ways than one (Danny)
...a girl who single handedly changed my perception of all Notre Dame girls with her calming, relaxed disposition and sick taste in shoes (Steph)
...a sleepy Korean who is always down to piece a cigarette and share a story (Michelle)
...a bubbly Filipino boy's full smile, heart of gold, and all too familiar bare ass (Voltaire)
...my Japanese sister who just agrees with everything I say because I use too much slang.. I tedaki mas (Rieko)
...a girl who, although she can deliver a mean pelvic thrust, displays the hilarious, kind, and reassuring soul that I have needed so badly in my life (Kyla)
...the beer pong queen who is like my carbon copy except with a little extra badunk (Jamie)
...my Peruvian principese, the original cha le, whose passion for soccer is only rivaled by his love for Karen (Gilmar)
...the only salad fingers that could complete my diamond in the sky (Nicole)
...a feisty brunette who would make the Medidididididci family proud (Sara)
...a matching turquoise Firenze bracelet that only cost a Euro but symbolizes a priceless relationship that has changed my life forever (Katie)
...my brother from another mother, cha le #2, who I've shared many a sunrise with, who I trust with my life, and would never be the same without (Steve)
...our favorite Chinese teacher/tourist who takes so many pictures that Martha King called her out. She is beautiful, intelligent, and has the most sincere passion for the world, her work, and, especially, her loved ones (Karen)
...and our fearless momma bear who wants to hug us and wring our necks all at the same time. A woman who knows she's fierce and applies it to every aspect of her being. The intensity of her dominating intellect and distinctive personality are only rivaled by her imperious lesbian strength (Dolores)
This trip has, to say the least, been life changing. Sometimes we come to a point in our lives where we feel out of control. Helpless. All we want to do is run. I believe that we are all running in a sense. Running from parents, work, monotony. For each of us, Florence has a different meaning. We, by fate not by chance, all ran to the same place.
So as I sit here, with my eyes closed, stomach still audibly churning, I realize that for me, Florence means love. Not just romantic love but many forms of love that we, unfortunately, overlook back in the states. I have, first of all, learned to love myself. Through this experience, I realized that my life is freaking awesome. Each morning I see myself in the mirror and see that I wouldn't want to be anyone else but me, and it took a trip halfway around the world to see that.
But the only way I could love myself is because of the love I received from all of you. It is through your example that I have learned to love the right people with all my heart. On this trip, I've learned to love others not only for their actions or their kindness, but for their intentions. All of you have earned my respect, my love, and my trust. No amount of awards or honors could make me feel as blessed and accomplished as being on this trip with all of you. Nothing has meant more to me than the long talks on the train, the 3 am kebap runs, cooking dinner with my roomies and friends, our spot by the Arno, sharing a drink with my professors, and lying back remembering I am a young study abroad student living my life the way I should: free, spontaneous and with people who make me love myself and enourage me to take chances. Someone once told me that it isn't the path you're taking, but the person you're becoming. There is no right or wrong way to live your life. It's about being with people you love and doing what is best for you with no hesitation.
You are all a part of me. You make me whole. You make me complete. You cannot be replaced, no one can compare. Good times and bad, I will carry them with me always. You all have made me the person I am today and all I can say is thank you. Thank you for understanding, for sharing, for being who you are. It is through all of you that I have found my path. It is in each of you that I find what I have been looking for: true happiness. Here I am happy. With you, right here, I am happy. So to all of you, my family, live free, talk slow, love often, and know that you will all forever be in my heart. For this to never end. I love you all. Firenze forever, and ever."
