On April 29, 2011, there was one question on everyone's mind:
WHY NOT ME?!?!
Something like 2/3 of the PLANET tuned in to see two rich, beautiful people's lives get even more fantastic. I, on the other hand, was part of the 1/3 that decided 4 am was a little too early to wear a fancy hat and be reminded of the castle and fairy tale wedding I didn't have.
I think we're all in agreement when I say -- God damn you, Kate Middleton.
Top 3 Reasons Why I want to be Kate Middleton:
1. She is absolutely stunning.
2. She gets to hang out with her friends and do royal shit.
3.
Boom.
^^ Lolz. Little girl. Not feelin' it.
I finally watched the wedding three weeks after the fact. I waited because, well, I didn't think I could handle it. I wanted to be her so badly that I didn't think I could handle watching her perfect life.
So, I snuggled up on the couch and scrolled down the Tivo list to ABC's broadcast of The Royal Wedding.
Question: Why is Barbara Walters still allowed on television? Homegirl brought up suicide twice and cut everyone off at least once. Calm down, Barbara. Calm down.
Anyways, the entire ceremony was, of course, extravagant and beautiful. The colors, the hats, the awful teeth. Everything was as it should have been.
But, to my surprise, I wasn't as upset as I thought I'd be. I figured I'd be on the floor sobbing with an empty box of Kleenex in one hand, half bottle of scotch in the other. I was actually perfectly composed. In my snuggie.
I attribute my composure to one moment in the wedding -- William and Kate are riding in the open carriage from Westminster Abbey to Buckingham Palace. The newlyweds are waving, flawless smiles gleaming. Suddenly the sky clears just enough to let down what seems to be God's heavenly light on Kate's angelic face, and all I could think was:
"Man. She looks hungry."
In a moment that seemed to capture everything that is incredible and perfect about Kate Middleton, all I thought was that she looked like she was jonesin' for a sandwich. Hardcore.
She looked absolutely stunning, but what does it take to look that incredible? A diet of ice water and a cherry tomato (only on your splurge day). As impossible as it sounds, being Kate Middleton is not easy. The entire world demands that she be perfect. Now, tell me, how the fuck do you do that?
Yes, she gets to be rich, beautiful and chillax with the Queen on Sundays, but will her life ever really be perfect? Running from paparazzi, forced to look fly 24/7, faced with a never-ending search for her flaws. Not so perfect to me.
- - -
Yesterday, I was having a conversation with my grandma over dinner about my grades. 3.78 GPA. Respectable. I know many an-asian-parent that would immediately ask "Why not 4.0?" My grandma, on the other hand, was glad I had a B+ on my transcript. Why, I ask.
"Because if you're perfect, you're stupid."
My grandma is like the super old/super wise turtle from Kung Fu Panda.
At first, she says stuff and you're like "WTF?" but then later you're like "Oh."
I came to realize that being perfect is stupid because it doesn't exist. My grandma explained that yeah, I could get a 4.0 but that would mean I'm either cheating or I'm working too hard. Not so perfect.
Graduation season got me thinking about "my future" and real life and the horrible mess of other things I should be worrying about.
2011. I was "supposed to" graduate this year. My facebook newsfeed is flooded with statuses about the Class of 2011, caps and gowns galore. My high school buddies land incredible jobs and update their "Work" information, inevitably making me wonder who I'm gonna be. Will I get a good job? Will I make a lot of money? Am I on the path to a perfect life?
All terribly stupid questions.
Get ready for it. Another Fight Club reference. Book this time, not movie.
Tyler Durden enters the novel on the beach, constructing something out of wood. The sun slowly sets and the narrator asks what he's building. Tyler says that at exactly 4:30 pm, the stacked pieces of beachwood cast a perfect shadow of a hand. For one minute, Tyler sat in the palm of perfection for which he alone was responsible. One minute of perfection. He leaves the narrator saying,
"A moment was the most you could ever expect from perfection."
Perfection is an instant.
When we try to be perfect, we only see our flaws. It's not a state of being. If perfect were a destination, we would come to a stop. Being perfect would mean there's nothing else because anything beyond that would simply be a mistake.
Seeing perfection as a moment in time keeps us moving, working toward the next time nothing matters and everything makes sense.
Perfection is the feeling when they finally hand you your order after half an hour in the In-n-Out drive thru. Perfection is seeing your grandparents laugh. Perfection is waking up and realizing it's Saturday so you can sleep in. Perfection is when you can finally exhale and release all the worries you had one second ago, even if it's just for one more second. Two seconds of perfection. It's worth chasing.
I'm not perfect. You're not perfect. Kate Middleton isn't perfect. All we can do is work to find perfection.
Albert Einstein said, "Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving."
Keep moving. Keep chasing. You will never reach perfect. You'll meet it. When you do, embrace it. Cherish it. Remember it because in an instant, it'll pass, ready for the next round of hide and seek.
It's taken me some time to understand that everything I have done thus far is not a means to an end. Getting my degree, getting a job -- that's not where it ends because there is no end.
As I move through my final year of college, I'll work hard not to reach a perfect state, but to create as many perfect moments as I can, to see more perfection in the world, to continue the chase, and catch it again and again.
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